Taking Offense

You say that you are offended. To be offended at the lack of attention is to consider yourself worthy of attention, and consequently to set a high value upon oneself in the heart; in other words, to have a heart swollen with pride. Is this good? Is it not our duty to endure wrongful accusations? Certainly it is. How then shall we start practising this duty? After all, when we are commanded to endure, we have to endure every unpleasantness without exception, and endure gladly, without losing our inward peace. The Lord told us, when smitten on one cheek, to turn the other also, but we are so sensitive that if a fly so much as brushes us with its wing in passing we are immediately up in arms. Tell me, are you prepared to obey this commandment of the Lord about being smitten on the cheek? You will probably say, Yes, you are prepared. Yet the instance you describe in your letter is precisely an occasion where this commandment applies. Being smitten on the cheek should not be taken literally. We should understand by it any action of our neighbour in which, it seems to us, we did not receive due attention and respect - any action by which we feel degraded, and our honour, as people call it, wounded. Every deed of this kind, however trivial - a look, an expression - is a blow on the cheek. Not only should we endure it, but we should also be ready for some greater degradation which would correspond to the turning the other cheek. What happened in your case was a very light slap on one cheek. And what did you do? Did you turn the other? No; so far from turning it, you retaliated. For you have already retaliated; you made the other person feel that you are somebody, as though saying, 'Keep your hands off me!' But what are we good for, you and I, if we do this? And how can we be regarded as disciples of Christ if we do not obey His commandments? What you should have done is to consider; do I deserve any attention? If you had had this feeling of unworthiness in your heart you would not have taken offense.

-Theophan The Recluse